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Volcan

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Volcan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4628
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Volcan : Don't get excited, I am not an interesting person.
I'm a pre-med student. I like to play pieces by Satie on the piano.
I enjoy sunrise, eating indoors and short walks in the city.
I play a lot of video games and MMOs.
The picture is not me but rather Andy Warhol's lover. She was beautiful. Apparently I look like her.
It pisses me off when most girls call themselves nerds just for playing COD and Halo and maybe having a Link t-shirt.
I grew up with comic books, Star Wars, Star Trek, Isaac Asimov, Piers Anthony, and a healthy curiosity of human anatomy.

As I said, I am not interesting. I am peculiar.

Volcan's last visitors

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Volcan's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Volcan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

#20818297
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40072) - you deserved it (12710)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:40am - love - by Msmerfner - United States (California)

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39123) - you deserved it (19636)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

#20817997
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (7369)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:29am - kids - by kimm1993 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

#20817997
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (7369)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:29am - kids - by kimm1993 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

#20817380
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45432) - you deserved it (4335)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering "that's what she said" during the eulogy. FML

#20817315
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44414) - you deserved it (2695)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:58pm - misc - by fuck people (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst into hysterical laughter behind me. FML

#20817313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47818) - you deserved it (8096)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53351) - you deserved it (4806)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

#20817205
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (24331)

On 08/02/2013 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by fuck but no fuck (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

#20816873
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44920) - you deserved it (2596)

On 08/02/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

#20816836
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47176) - you deserved it (4786)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:53am - love - by tkghan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52771) - you deserved it (5803)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47115) - you deserved it (9790)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

#20815318
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53235) - you deserved it (5066)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by countryblumpkin (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

#20815203
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51459) - you deserved it (3349)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)



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