Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Volcan

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

Volcan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10214
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Volcan : Don't get excited, I am not an interesting person.
I'm a pre-med student. I like to play pieces by Satie on the piano.
I enjoy sunrise, eating indoors and short walks in the city.
I play a lot of video games and MMOs.
The picture is not me but rather Andy Warhol's lover. She was beautiful. Apparently I look like her.
It pisses me off when most girls call themselves nerds just for playing COD and Halo and maybe having a Link t-shirt.
I grew up with comic books, Star Wars, Star Trek, Isaac Asimov, Piers Anthony, and a healthy curiosity of human anatomy.

As I said, I am not interesting. I am peculiar.

Volcan's page activity

Visits<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:12pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:05pm<b>lifelikedat</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:52am<b>zandra2020</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:41pm<b>javiz0922</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:47pm<b>greekpride</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:44pm<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 3:23pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 5:42pm<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 11:51pm<b>ItsMissLia</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:26pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:16pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:00pm<b>matthewj34</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Flowtastic</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:17pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:41pm<b>baapii</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:07pm<b>ryanding</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:28pm

Volcan's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Volcan's badges

Volcan's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49534) - you deserved it (8540)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I was in the middle of an interview; it was going great until I started coughing. That coughing led to an asthma attack, which led to nonstop gagging. I couldn't even answer his final question, "Are you okay?" FML

#20990762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39428) - you deserved it (2455)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

#20989946
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47145) - you deserved it (5533)

On 12/12/2013 at 6:27am - love - by Rumors - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

#20988657
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50495) - you deserved it (3368)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

#20988052
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37646) - you deserved it (19143)

On 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51198) - you deserved it (9920)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years old. FML

#20987666
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40677) - you deserved it (8720)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by Somerandomguy64 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53680) - you deserved it (3383)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML

#20987358
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37941) - you deserved it (5718)

On 12/10/2013 at 2:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

#20987288
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42444) - you deserved it (2949)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04am - money - by thefifthdoctor - United States (Washington)

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

#20986659
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45223) - you deserved it (3372)

On 12/09/2013 at 6:25pm - misc - by YouAssholes - United States (California)

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51291) - you deserved it (3371)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46122) - you deserved it (7205)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my unemployed scumbag boyfriend sold a painting I had just bought so he could buy phoney drugs that he told me he had quit. FML

#20985382
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38746) - you deserved it (15669)

On 12/08/2013 at 6:44pm - love - by GetOutOfMyHouseLoser - United States

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46590) - you deserved it (5131)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: