Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Volcan

Offline (yesterday at 4:02pm) | Search for a member

Volcan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9262
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Volcan : Don't get excited, I am not an interesting person.
I'm a pre-med student. I like to play pieces by Satie on the piano.
I enjoy sunrise, eating indoors and short walks in the city.
I play a lot of video games and MMOs.
The picture is not me but rather Andy Warhol's lover. She was beautiful. Apparently I look like her.
It pisses me off when most girls call themselves nerds just for playing COD and Halo and maybe having a Link t-shirt.
I grew up with comic books, Star Wars, Star Trek, Isaac Asimov, Piers Anthony, and a healthy curiosity of human anatomy.

As I said, I am not interesting. I am peculiar.

Volcan's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:52am<b>zandra2020</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:41pm<b>javiz0922</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:47pm<b>greekpride</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:44pm<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 3:23pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 5:42pm<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 11:51pm<b>ItsMissLia</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:26pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:16pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:00pm<b>matthewj34</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Flowtastic</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:17pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:41pm<b>baapii</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:07pm<b>ryanding</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:28pm<b>alex_the_tiger</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:35pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:40pm<b>hailey2649</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:49pm

Volcan's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Volcan's badges

Volcan's favorite FMLs

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35018) - you deserved it (2437)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16502) - you deserved it (43196)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was eating lunch at work, I practically had a panic attack because I'd forgotten to feed my Neopet. FML

#19168741
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8955) - you deserved it (32206)

On 02/26/2012 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (29460)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

#19161181
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6295) - you deserved it (25875)

On 02/25/2012 at 2:09pm - health - by Jared (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9395) - you deserved it (31684)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

#19142654
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31807) - you deserved it (2663)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - kids - by crzyry (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34534) - you deserved it (2623)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I sent out a text saying "Smile! You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." to most of my contacts. I got one reply, from my best friend, saying, "Are you fucking stupid?" FML

#19064637
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12069) - you deserved it (32763)

On 02/13/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by dis_bee_leaf (woman) - Canada

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

#19033928
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36649) - you deserved it (1890)

On 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Ouchies - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML

#19021363
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23765) - you deserved it (6806)

On 02/07/2012 at 8:40pm - health - by screwed - United States (Connecticut)

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42392) - you deserved it (3720)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was crossing the slush covered street to catch the bus, I slipped and fell right in the middle of the road. A woman in a car rolled down her window. She didn't ask if I was okay but just laughed and took a picture of me covered in cold, wet slush. FML

#18940266
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (1954)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by hopeless cluts (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML

#18917374
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22556) - you deserved it (3756)

On 01/26/2012 at 4:57pm - work - by StupidNurse (woman) - Germany

Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML

#18868671
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (8458)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Russian Federation



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: