Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Vegeto30294

Offline (the 06/25/2014 at 11:00pm) | Search for a member

Vegeto30294

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2495
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Vegeto30294's page activity

Visits<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:05am<b>max5692</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:42pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:53am<b>randomness3053</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 11:55am<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 10:07pm<b>anon3345543211</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 11:08pm<b>creeperwindow</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:05pm<b>nrevogcmamme</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:08pm<b>The_Tenth_Doctor</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 8:34pm<b>TheTwist</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 8:42pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 7:24am<b>KrazieKleo</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 1:21am<b>paspsycho</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 2:41pm<b>ebolson</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 10:30am<b>DarthMorlock</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 7:55am<b>impno1</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 3:59pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 2:50pm<b>pgimme321</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 11:12pm

Vegeto30294's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Vegeto30294's badges

Vegeto30294's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64427) - you deserved it (4716)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34338) - you deserved it (5922)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20797) - you deserved it (38107)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112801) - you deserved it (8488)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66879) - you deserved it (15313)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of Warcraft money. FML

#4073449
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65739) - you deserved it (4296)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

#3763600
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12865) - you deserved it (60399)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50356) - you deserved it (4920)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139463) - you deserved it (9980)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you deserved it (296690)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

#2769644
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72653) - you deserved it (6580)

On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML

#2674249
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54425) - you deserved it (9534)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by fatty - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

#2569005
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61956) - you deserved it (5032)

On 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by doubleds (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36116) - you deserved it (61376)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17949) - you deserved it (140309)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: