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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47205) - you deserved it (23948)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56419) - you deserved it (3657)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28814) - you deserved it (4638)
On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17712) - you deserved it (29403)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (92992) - you deserved it (6034)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59557) - you deserved it (12172)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that by brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of warcraft money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58378) - you deserved it (3286)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML
I agree, your life sucks (10398) - you deserved it (55114)
On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44622) - you deserved it (4426)
On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113520) - you deserved it (6693)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21488) - you deserved it (214185)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63920) - you deserved it (4980)
On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48148) - you deserved it (7499)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by fatty - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54310) - you deserved it (3860)
On 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by doubleds (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (49265)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Friday 24 May 2013
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