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Vegeto30294's FML badges
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Vegeto30294's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 2:12am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML
by iprobablyhaveherpes / 10/20/2010 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by EpicUsername / 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
by Misty3242 / 02/06/2010 at 3:15am / United States (California) / Kids
by wolfpacking / 02/02/2010 at 12:51am / Transportation
Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML
by boner / 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Davios / 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2009 at 1:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by oxjessiiox / 10/11/2009 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous
- Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck… Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to…