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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41035) - you deserved it (5589)
On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13015) - you deserved it (16338)
Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21505) - you deserved it (7812)
On 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm - kids - by kewtness_17 - United States (Texas)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47856) - you deserved it (4811)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (2600)
On 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by siikman313 - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29004) - you deserved it (2035)
On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, after falling on my way out the door, hitting a bird with my car, and sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, I remembered I had the day off work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23318) - you deserved it (8947)
On 09/07/2011 at 1:37pm - work - by seriously? - United States
Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (2120)
On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (3955)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18867) - you deserved it (1633)
On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30666) - you deserved it (2348)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)
Today, over a year on from my parents telling me my dog had died, I went to the shelter to volunteer, and saw my old dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38147) - you deserved it (1526)
On 08/21/2011 at 1:51am - animals - by Dogless - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25848) - you deserved it (4028)
On 08/21/2011 at 1:48am - kids - by callofdutyhater - United States (California)
Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26919) - you deserved it (1930)
On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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