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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21198) - you deserved it (2003)
On 01/02/2012 at 8:18am - misc - by jku (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (5819)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that if you see a tray with some black stuff in it and you can't decide whether it's powdered black pepper or cigarette ashes, it's not a good idea to taste it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4294) - you deserved it (30865)
On 01/01/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by Leigha - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)
Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28164) - you deserved it (2125)
On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (4284)
On 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, while sleeping, my foot was stabbed by something in my bed and I woke up to it bleeding. I looked around for the cause and found nothing. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep because it might happen again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23804) - you deserved it (1754)
On 12/19/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9257) - you deserved it (27499)
On 12/15/2011 at 4:52pm - health - by ms piggy - United States
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16311) - you deserved it (16893)
On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40975) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40975) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40975) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27025) - you deserved it (2017)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35992) - you deserved it (3751)
On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35992) - you deserved it (3751)
On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35992) - you deserved it (3751)
On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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