Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Vegeto30294

Offline (the 06/25/2014 at 11:00pm) | Search for a member

Vegeto30294

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2589
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Vegeto30294's page activity

Visits<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:05am<b>max5692</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:42pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:53am<b>randomness3053</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 11:55am<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 10:07pm<b>anon3345543211</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 11:08pm<b>creeperwindow</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:05pm<b>nrevogcmamme</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:08pm<b>The_Tenth_Doctor</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 8:34pm<b>TheTwist</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 8:42pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 7:24am<b>KrazieKleo</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 1:21am<b>paspsycho</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 2:41pm<b>ebolson</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 10:30am<b>DarthMorlock</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 7:55am<b>impno1</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 3:59pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 2:50pm<b>pgimme321</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 11:12pm

Vegeto30294's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Vegeto30294's badges

Vegeto30294's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14788) - you deserved it (38458)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41703) - you deserved it (4793)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47220) - you deserved it (4373)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

#19609877
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11204) - you deserved it (58589)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML

#19467974
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20962) - you deserved it (2372)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm - kids - by Rory - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (5398)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML

#19255450
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (1836)

On 03/11/2012 at 1:39am - work - by The Last One (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered the hard way that all the scare stories I'd heard about rats getting into pipes and finding their way into your toilet are, in fact, true. FML

#19131403
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (1959)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by TheHezzer - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25675) - you deserved it (8133)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

#19128091
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21309) - you deserved it (3846)

On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

#18930916
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (3862)

On 01/28/2012 at 1:27am - kids - by footscratching - United States

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29612) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

#18878139
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26069) - you deserved it (6537)

On 01/22/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6850) - you deserved it (74227)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

#18742973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (10573)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: