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Vegetarian27

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Vegetarian27
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 802
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Vegetarian27's favorite FMLs

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

#20051386
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14520) - you deserved it (1440)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML

#20051062
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5580) - you deserved it (21499)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:20pm - misc - by bieberyoulittleSHIT (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

#20049540
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (1133)

On 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML

#20047681
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17906) - you deserved it (1093)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:12am - health - by jdch_99 - United States

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27676) - you deserved it (5417)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21447) - you deserved it (2820)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19357) - you deserved it (1683)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33005) - you deserved it (3111)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

#20040696
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17066) - you deserved it (7858)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

#20039193
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25695) - you deserved it (2404)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

#20038908
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17767) - you deserved it (2140)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32223) - you deserved it (9797) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version



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