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Vegetarian27

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Vegetarian27

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  • Number of visits : 3594
  • Number of comments : 131
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Vegetarian27's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

#20903762
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31786) - you deserved it (9568)

On 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36089) - you deserved it (3447)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61389) - you deserved it (25752)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML

#20898877
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36938) - you deserved it (4417)

On 09/28/2013 at 6:53am - misc - by blackcat37 - United States (Missouri)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48821) - you deserved it (6385)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

#20897003
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42975) - you deserved it (5840)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by my gran is a cuntwaffle (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35200) - you deserved it (2958)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

#20896486
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34061) - you deserved it (4679)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51933) - you deserved it (4989)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
165 comments

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38406) - you deserved it (3710)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40029) - you deserved it (11375)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55037) - you deserved it (27647)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43380) - you deserved it (3998)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML



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