Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

VasilisaUzhasnaj

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

VasilisaUzhasnaj

28Fucked!

VasilisaUzhasnajVasilisaUzhasnaj
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 January 1987 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 19498
  • Number of comments : 740
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About VasilisaUzhasnaj : Soviet weeaboo artist.
My favorite things include Dragonball Z, robots, and about a million other things, like the Turbografx 16, so why even bother listing anything. If you give a shit, just ask.

+.*• Links! +.*•

Instagram: dragonborn_z

www.dragonborn-z.tumblr.com

www.no-totoro-rious.tumblr.com

VasilisaUzhasnaj's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - one hour ago<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 2:06am<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 2:24pm<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 12:53pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:18pm<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:37pm<b>Nomaddict</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 3:17pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 5:02pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 5:38am<b>spn_fanboy14</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:20pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 8:26pm<b>Stefan5678</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 6:42pm<b>taranoelr</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:24am<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:29pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:15am<b>Leo619</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 8:44pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 8:12pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 4:56pm

Fucked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:15am<b>Fmlreadermostly</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:55pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:21am<b>csjc</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:41pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:27pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 6:41pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 4:32pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 4:58am<b>JZAMORA777</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 9:41am<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 6:56am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 11:36pm<b>Cely988</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 6:28pm<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 5:53pm<b>pete9913</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 5:52pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 11:43am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 9:13am<b>zerozatch</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 8:58am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 3:34pm

VasilisaUzhasnaj's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of VasilisaUzhasnaj's badges

VasilisaUzhasnaj's favorite FMLs

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

#20742451
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61929) - you deserved it (9138)

On 06/23/2013 at 10:42am - love - by foreveralone (man) - United States

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53872) - you deserved it (12430)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband decided he would rather rage-wank to my mum's Facebook profile picture than make love to me. FML

#20741061
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48498) - you deserved it (5133)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by talktothefacecausethehandswanking (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61420) - you deserved it (8533)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50827) - you deserved it (21085)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51453) - you deserved it (3177)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML

#20723714
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48715) - you deserved it (3701)

On 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51260) - you deserved it (3426)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50593) - you deserved it (13237)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

#20723133
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50160) - you deserved it (25732)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56218) - you deserved it (4335)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50717) - you deserved it (5323)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved in to my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

#20711674
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39311) - you deserved it (11802)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

#20711432
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53772) - you deserved it (5321)

On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59352) - you deserved it (68183)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: