Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

VasilisaUzhasnaj

Search for a member

VasilisaUzhasnaj
  • Town/Country : Kiev, Ukraine
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 January 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 4682
  • Number of comments : 733
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VasilisaUzhasnaj : I'm a freelance artist and a writer. Most of my work is sadly here for now:
http://vasilisa-uzhasnaja.deviantart.com/

I work for Windy Press Publishing as a writer and editor.

My favorite games are Chrono Trigger and Silent Hill 1-3.
Feel free to message me.

[the rest of this profile has been blocked for your own protection]

VasilisaUzhasnaj's last visitors

jackson38Mornaikianaaa32SillyGirl4602RabidBunnyDudeEvilbotanistjessicacrackmore278NoorFMLtacojaunsdontpanic

VasilisaUzhasnaj's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of VasilisaUzhasnaj's badges

VasilisaUzhasnaj's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6187) - you deserved it (37916) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

#19175931
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8451) - you deserved it (13438)

On 02/27/2012 at 4:58pm - misc - by Eric - United States

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128) - you deserved it (2726)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13949) - you deserved it (20570)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

#19162083
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20776) - you deserved it (1434)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by eldar90 (man) - Israel

Today, my landlady roasted a joint of beef and the whole house smelled wonderful. OK, even if I am a masochistic vegetarian and former omnivore, that was way beyond cruel. FML

#19152969
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5918) - you deserved it (23921)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by i2xl (woman) - Canada

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML

#19144680
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16959) - you deserved it (2216)

On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML

#19138431
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5154) - you deserved it (32969)

On 02/22/2012 at 11:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (2064)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

#19128091
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16094) - you deserved it (2775)

On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (3509)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12830) - you deserved it (24586)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after breaking down in front of my therapist over some really sensitive issues, she decided to also break down. Not about my story but about her own life. I'm not being paid to comfort and console my therapist. FML

#19074382
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18423) - you deserved it (1762)

On 02/14/2012 at 2:16pm - health - by ryuken23 (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (1918)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I sent out a text saying "Smile! You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." to most of my contacts. I got one reply, from my best friend, saying, "Are you fucking stupid?" FML

#19064637
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9819) - you deserved it (23455)

On 02/13/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by dis_bee_leaf (woman) - Canada



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: