About VasilisaUzhasnaj : Soviet weeaboo artist.
My favorite things include Dragonball Z, cyberpunk, and about a million other things.
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About VasilisaUzhasnaj : Soviet weeaboo artist.
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VasilisaUzhasnaj's favorite FMLs
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm / Switzerland / Money
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
by Cuntlette / 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by brodinn / 04/11/2014 at 9:48am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML
by freakedout / 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, while already late for work, a cop pulled me over. When he got to my window, he said, "Oh sorry, I thought I knew you," and sent me on my way. I was relieved, but still got written up for being late to work. My boss didn't believe the story. FML
by mcmacmick97 / 04/10/2014 at 8:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by BobRyder / 04/10/2014 at 4:52pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML
by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm / Canada / Health
Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML
by doemetoch / 04/07/2014 at 9:49am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Love
Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 12:04am / United States (New Mexico) / Kids
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
by kaheera4 / 04/04/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by fuck off, dad / 04/04/2014 at 5:31pm / Colombia / Love
Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2014 at 3:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Health
Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML
by booboo300 / 04/03/2014 at 6:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to…