Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

VasilisaUzhasnaj

Search for a member

VasilisaUzhasnaj
  • Town/Country : Kiev, Ukraine
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 January 1987 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 7242
  • Number of comments : 733
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VasilisaUzhasnaj : I'm a freelance artist and a writer. Most of my work is sadly here for now:
http://vasilisa-uzhasnaja.deviantart.com/

I work for Windy Press Publishing as a writer and editor.

My favorite games are Chrono Trigger and Silent Hill 1-3.
Feel free to message me.

[the rest of this profile has been blocked for your own protection]

VasilisaUzhasnaj's last visitors

umakemesicFedergirlWelshiteTrish01HeyHeyFishFilletxDochxmaddielovesniall

VasilisaUzhasnaj's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of VasilisaUzhasnaj's badges

VasilisaUzhasnaj's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15612) - you deserved it (59739)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

#21091901
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48388) - you deserved it (2565)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41480) - you deserved it (3110)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

#21090611
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34747) - you deserved it (5560)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML

#21090227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31034) - you deserved it (6457)

On 03/18/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by holyshitsnacks - Canada (Ontario)

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50467) - you deserved it (4029)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32361) - you deserved it (4547)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

#21088136
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36520) - you deserved it (5640)

On 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm - love - by cumbucket cops (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (18133)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML

#21087465
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34782) - you deserved it (9177)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:02pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, we finally moved into our new home, which my husband and I got mostly so our kids could have fun in the spacious backyard. The moment they stepped into the backyard, they were terrorized by the neighbor's dogs, and now refuse to go outside. FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: