About VasilisaUzhasnaj : Soviet weeaboo artist.
My favorite things include Dragonball Z, robots, and about a million other things. Though really I just wanna fuckin die.
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About VasilisaUzhasnaj : Soviet weeaboo artist.
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VasilisaUzhasnaj's favorite FMLs
Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML
by spencerlong / 04/24/2014 at 11:02pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML
by AnonymousAndSad / 04/24/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (Iowa) / Health
Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML
by wondercat40 / 04/24/2014 at 5:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML
by Anonyme / 04/24/2014 at 2:57am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Transportation
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
by Quackadoodledoo / 04/23/2014 at 10:21pm / United Kingdom (Barnet) / Transportation
by Almost_Homeless / 04/23/2014 at 8:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML
by flufee2 / 04/22/2014 at 10:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by wah wah "you raised him" / 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/22/2014 at 11:26am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML
by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML
by banana_tree / 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Work
by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy
- Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with… Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my…