Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

VasilisaUzhasnaj

Offline (the 11/24/2014 at 4:34am) | Search for a member

VasilisaUzhasnaj

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11217
  • Number of comments : 735
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VasilisaUzhasnaj : Soviet weeaboo artist.

www.euronova.tumblr.com

www.no-totoro-rious.tumblr.com

VasilisaUzhasnaj's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:06pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:13am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:19pm<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:30pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:10am<b>shine999</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:05am<b>McDerpface</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:17am<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:22pm<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:02pm<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:07am<b>GnaR_KiLL5150</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:06pm<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:20am<b>NikL20</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 10:45pm<b>MrKronos</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:13am<b>hey_brittany_</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:49am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:51am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:12am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 7:57am

VasilisaUzhasnaj's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of VasilisaUzhasnaj's badges

VasilisaUzhasnaj's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29576) - you deserved it (6920)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

#20507668
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33492) - you deserved it (3674)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10505) - you deserved it (39459)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12461) - you deserved it (52880)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (7951)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28203) - you deserved it (5682)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12722) - you deserved it (31150)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39719) - you deserved it (8015)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29264) - you deserved it (6593)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41471) - you deserved it (3402)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29353) - you deserved it (7176)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24105) - you deserved it (9613)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31482) - you deserved it (4373)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

#20496903
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37845) - you deserved it (3408)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: