Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

VasilisaUzhasnaj

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

VasilisaUzhasnaj

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10662
  • Number of comments : 735
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VasilisaUzhasnaj : Soviet weeaboo artist.

www.euronova.tumblr.com

www.no-totoro-rious.tumblr.com

VasilisaUzhasnaj's page activity

Visits<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:13am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:19pm<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:30pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:10am<b>shine999</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:05am<b>McDerpface</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:17am<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:22pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 9:18pm<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:02pm<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:07am<b>GnaR_KiLL5150</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:06pm<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:20am<b>NikL20</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 10:45pm<b>MrKronos</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:13am<b>hey_brittany_</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:49am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:51am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:12am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 7:57am

VasilisaUzhasnaj's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of VasilisaUzhasnaj's badges

VasilisaUzhasnaj's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

#21153463
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48328) - you deserved it (6382)

On 05/27/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by N O - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

#21153319
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45238) - you deserved it (3748)

On 05/27/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45886) - you deserved it (5302)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I saw the script for the end of year assembly skit I'm forced to participate in. Looks like on my last day of high school, I'll be running around in a rainbow unicorn costume in front of my entire high school and their parents. FML

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

Today, my boss bitched me out for doing some random web browsing while waiting for some documents I needed to arrive, then went back to his desk and went on Facebook, thinking I couldn't see. FML

#21151371
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39240) - you deserved it (4884)

On 05/25/2014 at 4:54pm - work - by kalamar5 (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47441) - you deserved it (7218)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my friend started his first day of work with me. I thought it'd be fun, but he's been putting on an obnoxious fake French accent and saying "merde" whenever anything goes wrong. Half the women at the office want his dick, and I'm still as single as ever. FML

#21150394
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42469) - you deserved it (5462)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by thankssiren (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42836) - you deserved it (4439)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was creeping on an old coworker's Facebook and noticed they'd tagged my face in an old group photo as another girl. According to the comments, the girl they'd tagged me as thought it was her too. I worked there for two years and nobody mentioned the mistake. FML

#21148062
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35003) - you deserved it (5146)

On 05/22/2014 at 1:51am - misc - by ForgottenSarahMarshall (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

#21147533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40537) - you deserved it (8268)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Ace - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44826) - you deserved it (6289)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that the built in lighter in my car does NOT in fact glow red when hot. I now have circles burned into my finger. FML

#21146659
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31320) - you deserved it (26705)

On 05/20/2014 at 8:53pm - misc - by My__life___ (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after my bosses excitedly told me I'm getting promoted to customer service at our grocery store, a customer called me an idiot in the parking lot for accidentally backing into the shopping cart she left in my blind spot. And so it begins. FML

#21146606
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36605) - you deserved it (4953)

On 05/20/2014 at 7:50pm - work - by Helpful Smile - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML

#21146408
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45630) - you deserved it (8904)

On 05/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by fuckingdieyouoldhag (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: