Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Vanyaxe

Search for a member

Vanyaxe
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4479
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 13 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Vanyaxe's last visitors

FreezeAbnufUpsidedownKayaksweet_candy_HappinessForFreeZebrasofa13

Vanyaxe's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Vanyaxe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (4141)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44675) - you deserved it (4109)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML

#15247228
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34048) - you deserved it (3126)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Cashier (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

#15207918
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (3372)

On 03/05/2011 at 4:53pm - health - by 092492 - United States (California)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36259) - you deserved it (3013)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

#15195848
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28053) - you deserved it (2904)

On 03/04/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by carr (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my parents told me that due to my lacking height and weight, I legally have to sit in a booster seat in the car from now on. I'm nineteen. FML

#15188063
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39146) - you deserved it (4510)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35988) - you deserved it (22606)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

#15179914
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36801) - you deserved it (2925)

On 03/02/2011 at 9:49pm - kids - by elfy2 -

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

#15178043
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32561) - you deserved it (3891)

On 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by Worstjob (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML

#15176511
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13241) - you deserved it (28698)

On 03/02/2011 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

#15174251
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29919) - you deserved it (5476)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML

#15170920
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34106) - you deserved it (2813)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by Acesup111 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

#15166184
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31393) - you deserved it (2617)

On 03/01/2011 at 7:11pm - health - by stillsick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16513) - you deserved it (80494)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: