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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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VampireKiller59

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VampireKiller59
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 613
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About VampireKiller59 : Im bored

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VampireKiller59's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (12351) - you deserved it (1273)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (3329) - you deserved it (15955)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

#17794550 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (10070) - you deserved it (1765)

On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (21570) - you deserved it (6059)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168 (407)

I agree, your life sucks (7734) - you deserved it (64858)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (15101) - you deserved it (1896)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643 (427)

I agree, your life sucks (30925) - you deserved it (7460)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you deserved it (4595)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (14406)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (26410) - you deserved it (2326)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (14808) - you deserved it (20450)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (4766)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

#15531816 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (15127) - you deserved it (4287)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Macedonia (Struga)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (26029) - you deserved it (22965)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

#15226621 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (1945)

On 03/07/2011 at 4:19am - misc - by WTF -