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Vamphyre73

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Vamphyre73
  • Town/Country : collingwood, canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 November 1973 (40 years)
  • Number of visits : 2290
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Vamphyre73 : I am weird, and will rarely comment, only if I think I should get in on an arguement of something I have experience with. I love messages so feel free, although I mostly use my iPod so may not respond. For anyone who actually looked at my profile I am actually only 17, and that will probably automatically make me seem immature and simple-minded to you. But I'll try not to be, stalker ^ ~ ^

Vamphyre73's last visitors

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Vamphyre73's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Vamphyre73's badges

Vamphyre73's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend who I've had serious feelings for for over a year decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost 2 years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up 6 months ago. 3 times. FML

#4993116
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21076) - you deserved it (3305)

On 09/02/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by sexytime (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I finally got the courage to go up and ask out the girl I have loved for a couple of months now. After she said yes, I was over the moon and ran home to tell my roommate. The next day, I saw her making out with another man. When I confronted her, she said "Oh, you were serious yesterday?" FML

#4973431
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43421) - you deserved it (3569)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:52am - love - by lovesucks (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60648) - you deserved it (15379)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

#4702717
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35808) - you deserved it (5341)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:06am - love - by tacoboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to give the girl I am absolutely in love with advice on how to have better sex with her boyfriend. FML

#4673075
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57147) - you deserved it (9861)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by shitforchris (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML

#4527001
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42951) - you deserved it (9410)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by vicgal - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

#4525487
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37103) - you deserved it (20082)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I came home early from work, and caught my girlfriend with my best friend. I forgave her. She thinks it's because I love her. It's because I wouldn't get laid otherwise. FML

#4466050
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29443) - you deserved it (53824)

On 08/12/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy-friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

#4453766
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44547) - you deserved it (7438)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:13pm - love - by denied (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML

#4408300
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59469) - you deserved it (31755)

On 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by SoniaLovesYou - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML

#4356438
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (3674)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:43am - love - by ineedanotherdrink (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

#4299524
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17883) - you deserved it (37988)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63672) - you deserved it (14527)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, this guy I have been hanging out with for a while came over and we were about to do it. He pulled off my clothes and once I was naked I reached for his zipper. He just backed up and said he was a virgin and simply wanted to see me naked. FML

#4191218
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51867) - you deserved it (10339)

On 07/31/2009 at 8:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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