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VampOfSavannah

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VampOfSavannah

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 April 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits :
  • Number of comments : 158
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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VampOfSavannah's page activity

Visits<b>zjay</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:41pm<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:49pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:37pm<b>owlishes</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:38pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:53pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:38pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 2:36pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:18pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:10pm<b>medic8</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:24am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:54pm<b>silkyred</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:49pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:01pm<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 10:50pm<b>xx000o</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 6:17am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:34am<b>sunnyskys</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:45pm<b>pcgwm</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:38am

Fucked!<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:34pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 4:48am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:06pm

VampOfSavannah's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of VampOfSavannah's badges

VampOfSavannah's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (4471)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (11527)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, an old lady in public transport yelled at me and my dog, called me a liar, and threw her grape soda over me because according to her my pet Shiba Inu was actually a fox, and keeping foxes as pets is illegal. FML

#21422437
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25083) - you deserved it (1421)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:48pm - animals - by foxownerapperantly - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML

#21422070
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25508) - you deserved it (2435)

On 06/07/2015 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

#21421616
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (4317)

On 06/06/2015 at 1:52am - animals - by iamfab - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (9800)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30166) - you deserved it (2213)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

#21376941
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (219) - you deserved it (26)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112) - you deserved it (2586)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (3073)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27854) - you deserved it (8380)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32759) - you deserved it (5255)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was sitting at my computer, petting one of my cats, who was sitting on my lap. My other cat got jealous and tried to climb onto my lap as well. They ended up fighting. I was wearing shorts. FML

#21333736
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29483) - you deserved it (4070)

On 01/09/2015 at 1:44am - animals - by Crazy Cat Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

#21328260
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28419) - you deserved it (6282)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:25am - misc - by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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