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VampOfSavannah

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VampOfSavannah

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : South Yorkshire, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 April 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits :
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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VampOfSavannah's page activity

Visits<b>Jayroc</b> - yesterday at 9:40pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:00am<b>Soparot</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:07am<b>em_iweird</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:50am<b>lightning20</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:19am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:20pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:36am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:25pm<b>salii321</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:16am<b>allybae1D</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 6:08pm<b>allykaymorris</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 11:03pm<b>p_diddy77</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:43pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 5:01pm<b>syki</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:21pm<b>Craven1987</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 4:39pm<b>joco4</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 12:53am<b>Cpl_Levi</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:36am<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 12:45am

Fucked!<b>Jayroc</b> - yesterday at 3:40am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:36am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:29am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 11:01pm<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 6:45am<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 2:21am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 5:58pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:34pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 4:48am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:06pm

VampOfSavannah's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of VampOfSavannah's badges

VampOfSavannah's favorite FMLs

Today, I confronted my husband about a pair of panties I found in his office. They're his. He put them on to show me that they fit. FML

Today, my whack job of a father told my 8-year-old son that his cat deserves a bullet to the head for being so damn stupid. FML

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

#21514709
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16617) - you deserved it (17660)

On 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm - animals - by parasheeeet (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at work a customer yelled at me, called me a 'fucking bitch', 'a fat whore', and, told me to lose weight because I wouldn't let her in the grocery store I work at to buy lettuce, after we'd closed. Lettuce for her lizard. FML

#21514651
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21376) - you deserved it (1673)

On 01/13/2016 at 7:06am - work - by midnightblade163 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

#21511573
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18291) - you deserved it (5074)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:08pm - work - by Emma (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

#21511346
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20688) - you deserved it (1758)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

#21510935
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24307) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/03/2016 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML

#21496064
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22126) - you deserved it (2290)

On 11/23/2015 at 10:23pm - kids - by sydcaller618 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML

#21495221
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (2639)

On 11/21/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

#21495098
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30433) - you deserved it (4166)

On 11/21/2015 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

#21493038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (4733)

On 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by nnniii - United States (Washington)

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

#21439547
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (3081)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by wantmeasandwich (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25824) - you deserved it (4903)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)



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