Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Valentina_Baby

Search for a member

Valentina_Baby

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 February 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9273
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Valentina_Baby : hi ^-^

Valentina_Baby's page activity

Visits<b>justin1205</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:27pm<b>Myndiva</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:47am<b>beaubuck</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:03am<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:24pm<b>sassyparrot</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:57pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:58pm<b>Naveed_N</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:16am<b>King_Nero</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:20pm<b>Hunty1</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:28pm<b>JenniferNThomas</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 9:03pm<b>beach_boy1992</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 2:52pm<b>true_man69</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 4:34pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 3:29pm<b>Colourize</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 2:49am<b>HyperFUSE</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 8:53am<b>GarrettP28</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 2:20am<b>James_is_Mexican</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 10:54am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 10:07am

Valentina_Baby's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Valentina_Baby's badges

Valentina_Baby's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16912) - you deserved it (46038) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20272) - you deserved it (33622)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16919) - you deserved it (30706)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

#18034396
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31563) - you deserved it (8929)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm - health - by box bulge - China

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

#18030878
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31782) - you deserved it (6025)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51818) - you deserved it (16549)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51066) - you deserved it (8043)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML

#18004250
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43869) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/17/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by pokeballbra - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

#18003683
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33864) - you deserved it (2390)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family's named me "the hobbit". FML

#17991756
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22051) - you deserved it (3710)

On 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44858) - you deserved it (5036)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11730) - you deserved it (41601)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML

#17965886
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24168) - you deserved it (4994)

On 10/12/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by ItaliczZz (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (3705)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: