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Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41138) - you deserved it (10083)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178077) - you deserved it (61484)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34118) - you deserved it (5337)
On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40569) - you deserved it (6413)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44593) - you deserved it (4496)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Duckie W (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
I agree, your life sucks (69016) - you deserved it (20086)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)
Today, my sister teased me about being a mistake baby. When I told my mom what my sister said, her response was "I still love you anyway". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (2507)
On 02/10/2009 at 6:41pm - misc - by melissa (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25237) - you deserved it (10454)
On 02/08/2009 at 8:55am - misc - by Kath (woman) - Poland (Gdansk)
Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10080) - you deserved it (50164)
On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16811) - you deserved it (21888)
On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (10666)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41780) - you deserved it (5251)
On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)
Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14343) - you deserved it (4717)
On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version
Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13509) - you deserved it (10542)
On 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm - love - by Faxshadow - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I'm 20 years old and never been kissed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23863) - you deserved it (4390)
On 01/04/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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