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Valentina_Baby's favorite FMLs
by Duckie W / 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by melissa / 02/10/2009 at 6:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML
by Kath / 02/08/2009 at 8:55am / Poland (Gdansk) / Love
by name50 / 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
by IntimidatorStag / 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Love
by EpicFail / 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
by Poopy / 01/12/2009 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Faxshadow / 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Love
Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I… Today, after thinking I smelled the aroma of stale alcohol, I asked my husband, who is a recovering… Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot.…