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Valentina_Baby's favorite FMLs
by Duckie W / 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by melissa / 02/10/2009 at 6:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML
by Kath / 02/08/2009 at 8:55am / Poland (Gdansk) / Love
by name50 / 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
by IntimidatorStag / 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Love
by EpicFail / 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
by Poopy / 01/12/2009 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Faxshadow / 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Love
Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…