Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Valentina_Baby

Search for a member

Valentina_Baby

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 February 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10733
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Valentina_Baby : hi ^-^

Valentina_Baby's page activity

Visits<b>VirtualZircon</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:48am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 4:43pm<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:37am<b>Sobe_1900</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:12am<b>ostark</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:54am<b>w0o0a</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:30pm<b>_cameronkc_</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:22am<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 12:35pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 8:36pm<b>noah_h15</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 9:31pm<b>insulinshot</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 11:43am<b>waffleeater_153</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 5:36pm<b>uijk</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:42pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:13pm<b>Tremon123</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 12:52am<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 10:19pm

Fucked!<b>niksatter96</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:43pm<b>_cameronkc_</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:22pm<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 6:35pm

Valentina_Baby's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Valentina_Baby's badges

Valentina_Baby's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

#2492711
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67479) - you deserved it (4979)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36991) - you deserved it (265821)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

#2308873
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64502) - you deserved it (3757)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

#2143757
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15929) - you deserved it (54577)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94194) - you deserved it (22489)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
439 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33738) - you deserved it (146639)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

#1770571
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22376) - you deserved it (47190)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78944) - you deserved it (24292)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23610) - you deserved it (83229)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

#1444188
447 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57340) - you deserved it (11022)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37196) - you deserved it (95538)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML

#1021552
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25127) - you deserved it (121154)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: