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Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28490) - you deserved it (12715)
On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28490) - you deserved it (12715)
On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26160) - you deserved it (4783)
On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35357) - you deserved it (4182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version
Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8471) - you deserved it (71929)
On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29933) - you deserved it (5022)
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15775) - you deserved it (41198)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (4009)
On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14811) - you deserved it (69509)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26383) - you deserved it (5682)
On 07/05/2011 at 12:04am - work - by Stacy - United States
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53969) - you deserved it (6842)
On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31371) - you deserved it (9234)
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (4079)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)
Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81570) - you deserved it (7254)
On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7487) - you deserved it (83110)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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