Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Valentina_Baby

Search for a member

Valentina_Baby

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 February 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9394
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Valentina_Baby : hi ^-^

Valentina_Baby's page activity

Visits<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 3:23pm<b>FreshDonuts</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 12:32pm<b>DrCheese</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 10:28am<b>Remehdy</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 2:29am<b>11bGrunT</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 9:17am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 2:30pm<b>ChaCerCam1</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:12pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:31pm<b>justin1205</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:27pm<b>Myndiva</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:47am<b>beaubuck</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:03am<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:24pm<b>sassyparrot</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:57pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:58pm<b>Naveed_N</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:16am<b>King_Nero</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:20pm<b>Hunty1</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:28pm<b>JenniferNThomas</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 9:03pm

Valentina_Baby's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Valentina_Baby's badges

Valentina_Baby's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

#17591992
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39065) - you deserved it (4687)

On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
678 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (49184)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30198) - you deserved it (5658)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML

#17530049
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (5012)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by Miguel - United States

Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML

#17473520
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27875) - you deserved it (9051)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34772) - you deserved it (9626)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

#17453333
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40023) - you deserved it (4169)

On 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by -_- - United States

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12769) - you deserved it (32821)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11708) - you deserved it (51195)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35044) - you deserved it (10003)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35044) - you deserved it (10003)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother took 350 dollars from savings to go to a psychic. But it's okay though, because now I know I'm an "ancient soul from another dimension". An "ancient soul" who now has no money. FML

#17354584
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (2670)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:49am - money - by Teen With No Money (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53238) - you deserved it (3274)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, a friend from work threw a party. We each had to dress up as a deceased celebrity. I thought it'd be a perfect time to dress up as Marilyn Monroe. When I arrived to the party, my boss said, "But... Rosie O'Donnell isn't dead." FML

#17347220
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (5984)

On 08/02/2011 at 7:46pm - work - by theonlychildd1 (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: