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Valentina_Baby

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Valentina_Baby
  • Town/Country : Los Angeless, United states of fuck ups
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 February 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 8620
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Valentina_Baby : hi ^-^

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Valentina_Baby's favorite FMLs

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46818) - you deserved it (2406)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML

#20110068
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24278) - you deserved it (7374)

On 10/10/2012 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Depression... (woman) - United States

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14257) - you deserved it (55663)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML

#20102154
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18355) - you deserved it (5247)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

#20098049
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19078) - you deserved it (6718)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30229) - you deserved it (2174)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

#20089229
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17282) - you deserved it (2219)

On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19769) - you deserved it (8224)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

#20072637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17082) - you deserved it (1474)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20379) - you deserved it (1661)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML

#20068584
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25270) - you deserved it (4400)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16039) - you deserved it (65335)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25638) - you deserved it (7440)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

#20049540
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20912) - you deserved it (1133)

On 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)



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