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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (3955)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (2671)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16297) - you deserved it (29480)
On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (2332)
On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24415) - you deserved it (3459)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8307) - you deserved it (51632)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22322) - you deserved it (4269)
On 08/19/2011 at 9:40am - intimacy - by nerofirst - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32051) - you deserved it (2235)
On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28321) - you deserved it (5110)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (2345)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5433) - you deserved it (48233)
On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (2512)
On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States
Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20655) - you deserved it (6987)
On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (8537)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
I agree, your life sucks (26798) - you deserved it (3816)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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