Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Valdrek

Offline (the 05/09/2015 at 3:35am) | Search for a member

Valdrek

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 5826
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Valdrek : I have been reading FML's since the app first came out four or so years ago now and still love and read them every single day.

I'm down to earth and I think I am level headed, it just depends on wether the person I'm speaking to is a knob head or not.

I love animals, all animals really...just not crawly little buggers. I HATE any kind of animal cruelty and feel strongly enough about it to kill to stop animal cruelty.

I believe in honor and duty.

KiK: DmitriK
Snapchat: jackusdanielsus

Valdrek's page activity

Visits<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:26am<b>kylie31</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 8:20am<b>krishgad</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 11:56am<b>aishah77</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 9:15am<b>irwingiggles</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:09pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 12:04am<b>ale1139</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:28am<b>rhirhi923</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:52am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:11pm<b>2ndSucks</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 12:52pm<b>ninjakitty254</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 10:00am<b>nchic01</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 9:33pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 1:15pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:26am<b>my_horrible_life</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:58am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:06pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 8:22pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:36am

Fucked!<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:26am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:59am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:07am<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 1:22am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:10pm<b>my_horrible_life</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:31pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 6:57am

Valdrek's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Valdrek's badges

Valdrek's favorite FMLs

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46199) - you deserved it (9974)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13787) - you deserved it (48022)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (4476)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML

#554524
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67167) - you deserved it (8314)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Marian (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1204163) - you deserved it (127147)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (57666)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47605) - you deserved it (6468)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch a porn film on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear. It wasn't until she came out of her bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

#296
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9636) - you deserved it (52770)

On 11/13/2008 at 5:31am - intimacy - by Skylan - Sent from mobile version



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: