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Valdrek

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Valdrek
  • Town/Country : Moscow, Russia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2466
  • Number of comments : 125
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Valdrek : I have been reading FML's since the app first came out four or so years ago now and still love and read them every single day.

I'm down to earth and I think I am level headed, it just depends on wether the person I'm speaking to is a knob head or not.

I love animals, all animals really...just not crawly little buggers. I HATE any kind of animal cruelty and feel strongly enough about it to kill to stop animal cruelty.

I believe in honor and duty.

KiK: DmitriK
Snapchat: jackusdanielsus

Valdrek's last visitors

ForbiddenDestinyIzzyduck07MisterCrossnubbles10toasty_narwalsKar0xDochxcolereanmaayers

Valdrek's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of Valdrek's badges

Valdrek's favorite FMLs

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

#19508765
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18093) - you deserved it (3531)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

#19039141
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27512) - you deserved it (5936)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28934) - you deserved it (4754)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31979) - you deserved it (13542)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38224) - you deserved it (15517)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

#18370889
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36053) - you deserved it (9016)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27794) - you deserved it (5039)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML

#15985772
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35787) - you deserved it (7082)

On 04/30/2011 at 1:06am - love - by Imrickar - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30008) - you deserved it (41478)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32976) - you deserved it (8786)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML

#14619610
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26109) - you deserved it (5478)

On 01/17/2011 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by No O-face (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while lying in bed with my fiancé, we were talking about how we'd rather die, if given a choice. I said, "I want to die in my sleep next to you." His response? "It'd be sexier if you were on top of me with your face between my legs." Cute, honey. FML

#14409774
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23481) - you deserved it (5691)

On 12/31/2010 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by legwarmer (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (19790)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43579) - you deserved it (7927)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42387) - you deserved it (9534)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)



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