About ValandJaz11 : Im a bitch.!
Hey!!! I share this account with my Best Friend!! So you'll see both of our comments on here and BTW I have the app so DON'T message me!! Lol!
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Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18437) - you deserved it (3105)
On 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18437) - you deserved it (3105)
On 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16903) - you deserved it (29280)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45237) - you deserved it (14534)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (6935)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25124) - you deserved it (2207)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18701) - you deserved it (3189)
On 08/26/2011 at 6:41am - love - by the girlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot whispering "jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20996) - you deserved it (1481)
On 08/20/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by lala7 - United States
Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (6254)
On 08/19/2011 at 6:47pm - misc - by friendly_neighbourhood_psycho (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22183) - you deserved it (1572)
On 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm - work - by Liz - United States
Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10807) - you deserved it (32592)
On 11/05/2010 at 1:29pm - kids - by lilmamma - United States (California)
Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23786) - you deserved it (2162)
On 08/10/2010 at 9:46am - health - by travelsickness - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5966) - you deserved it (25177)
On 01/11/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (7469)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, after reading a very emotional article about always letting your loved ones know how much you love them in case it's your last time seeing them, I went to my mom and told her how much I loved her and how thankful I was for everything. Her reply? "Shut up kid, Vince Vaughn is on Ellen". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23705) - you deserved it (3151)
On 12/01/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by ilovemom (woman) - Costa Rica (Heredia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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