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ValVee92

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ValVee92

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 375
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ValVee92's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:56pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:09pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 1:43pm<b>Janoskiansfn1</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:48am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:34pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:56pm<b>carry_on</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:54am<b>What_______Slap</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 12:49pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:50pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 4:24pm<b>IronMan9481</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 8:14am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 9:46pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 1:49pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 9:35am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:51pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 8:14am<b>recklessryan</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:47pm

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:56am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:26am

ValVee92's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of ValVee92's badges

ValVee92's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52964) - you deserved it (5947)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51691) - you deserved it (11168)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54922) - you deserved it (7743)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42104) - you deserved it (6338)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58324) - you deserved it (9155)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68576) - you deserved it (12923)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39518) - you deserved it (2987)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40783) - you deserved it (18016)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

#20627067
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61153) - you deserved it (3243)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML

#20619241
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46589) - you deserved it (3893)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43381) - you deserved it (5220)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31236) - you deserved it (5892)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32886) - you deserved it (50791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36827) - you deserved it (2409)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80077) - you deserved it (24573)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)



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