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ValVee92

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ValVee92

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 443
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ValVee92's page activity

Visits<b>anarchiax</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 10:36am<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:14am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 9:35am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:42pm<b>crunchycheeto99</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:31am<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:55am<b>LoonatM</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:47am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:50am<b>olpally</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:40pm<b>woainishamu</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 9:43pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 9:21am<b>Crash0997</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 3:08am<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 12:40pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:47am<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:05am<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 1:43pm<b>Janoskiansfn1</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:48am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:34pm

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:56am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:26am

ValVee92's FML badges

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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ValVee92's favorite FMLs

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29939) - you deserved it (4343)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38097) - you deserved it (3042)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

#20863117
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49203) - you deserved it (6278)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53011) - you deserved it (5950)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51735) - you deserved it (11183)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60241) - you deserved it (8962)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

#20804217
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48180) - you deserved it (2564)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76072) - you deserved it (3700)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55004) - you deserved it (7747)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42608) - you deserved it (6401)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58301) - you deserved it (9163)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68648) - you deserved it (12932)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39539) - you deserved it (2988)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77275) - you deserved it (5280)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)



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