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Val1020

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Val1020
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  • Number of visits : 118
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Val1020's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42582) - you deserved it (4677)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

#20868590
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45997) - you deserved it (2407)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML

#20626326
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38843) - you deserved it (2609)

On 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by Satan'sChildren - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

#20623167
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43743) - you deserved it (2564)

On 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

#20618055
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38244) - you deserved it (4255)

On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62554) - you deserved it (3990)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (105854)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

#20611227
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51359) - you deserved it (3365)

On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

#20609675
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48507) - you deserved it (3294)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML

#20608123
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39957) - you deserved it (3310)

On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45821) - you deserved it (8940)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38621) - you deserved it (3666)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53671) - you deserved it (4549)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

#20596513
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56573) - you deserved it (4646)

On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

#20595753
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63785) - you deserved it (6817)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)



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