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Today, I went over to mah friend's house . We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away . Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto mah knee . I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on mah boner . FML
Today.. . at my job in tha cosmatics dapartmant.. . I was halping a customar find somathing to har tasta . Sha said.. . "I want a lipstick lyk you . Somathing that says.. . 'I'm a bitch'." big fat FML
Today, hile taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on mah head, laughed hysterically, and ran off looool screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
Today , while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded , but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML
I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain!! Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, ( Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends? ) FML
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the split to the group. I slid down, legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted fir the full 5 second it took to reach the ground. FML
Friday 27 March 2015