VIRGI99

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VIRGI99

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1612
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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VIRGI99's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

by bucollegegirl / 10/08/2012 at 10:07am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

by hooligyn123 / 09/04/2012 at 4:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

by babyeaternomnom / 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

by Krissy / 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

by shea234 / 02/20/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a Sim of myself and had her work out until she was completely fit, then got her a job and a husband. Meanwhile, I sat at my desk, fat, single and jobless. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2012 at 9:08pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

by lol / 01/25/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Health