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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7283) - you deserved it (35114)
On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7804) - you deserved it (53663)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10933) - you deserved it (43670)
On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16141) - you deserved it (28370)
Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20434) - you deserved it (40763)
On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50082) - you deserved it (3490)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20560) - you deserved it (2894)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37601) - you deserved it (3801)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23318) - you deserved it (6428)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7068) - you deserved it (24538)
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (1811)
On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23448) - you deserved it (2701)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had to pay a $150 late fee because my landlord didn't receive the rent check. My boyfriend had addressed the envelope to himself and put the landlord's as the return address. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18438) - you deserved it (3051)
On 08/05/2011 at 5:41pm - money - by sunflower226 - United States
I agree, your life sucks (30333) - you deserved it (3378)
On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32068) - you deserved it (9439)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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