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UnluckyGenius

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UnluckyGenius

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2130
  • Number of comments : 218
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About UnluckyGenius : Insert something witty and possibly plagiarized here.

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UnluckyGenius's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30858) - you deserved it (4967)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

#18927018
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36613) - you deserved it (2896)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML

#18899300
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17562) - you deserved it (35177)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

#18864216
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (5534)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by suffersecks - United States

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

#18858383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (8394)

On 01/20/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached my goal weight. I excitedly told my boyfriend, and he responded, "Yeah, that's nice, but now your tits are tiny". FML

#18822842
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32439) - you deserved it (6846)

On 01/16/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML

#18192862
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48425) - you deserved it (6716)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by explainer (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37312) - you deserved it (7469)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML

#18135493
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29988) - you deserved it (12427)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by ugadawgs09 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

#18127169
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32573) - you deserved it (6506)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

#18123104
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29150) - you deserved it (4881)

On 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by silkysmooth (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
593 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58669) - you deserved it (4674)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML

#18117360
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45290) - you deserved it (8901)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Andrew - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39702) - you deserved it (22596)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States



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