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UnluckyGenius

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UnluckyGenius

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2135
  • Number of comments : 218
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About UnluckyGenius : Insert something witty and possibly plagiarized here.

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UnluckyGenius's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

#19337633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12717) - you deserved it (32518)

On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25866) - you deserved it (5393)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (11869)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (3169)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

#19243836
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39935) - you deserved it (6857)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (6105)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States

Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML

#19188753
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9612) - you deserved it (23434)

On 02/29/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by cfaul001 - United States (Texas)

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

#19180837
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23487) - you deserved it (6086)

On 02/28/2012 at 6:55am - love - by Susan - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my wife cheated on me with a guy from her work three times, two months before I proposed to her. She decided to tell me three months into our marriage. FML

#19177971
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31534) - you deserved it (2209)

On 02/27/2012 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (54428)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45550) - you deserved it (3899)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)

Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML

#19103032
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29704) - you deserved it (7437)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm - love - by Mel Ancholy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26237) - you deserved it (3506)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

#19095316
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (5040)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML

#19053035
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26588) - you deserved it (7621)

On 02/11/2012 at 11:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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