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UnluckyGenius's favorite FMLs
by notsexy / 05/09/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML
by sweet / 03/26/2009 at 2:08pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy
by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Sal / 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Mofisto / 02/15/2009 at 5:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
by Noname / 01/17/2009 at 3:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, I returned home from college. I found out that my dad ran over my cat months ago and tried… 3Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After…