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UnluckyGenius's favorite FMLs
by Emily / 08/21/2011 at 12:54am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 12:41am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Love
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
by -_- / 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm / United States / Intimacy
by Wife / 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
by moonstone15 / 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
by quickfingers100 / 07/22/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by James / 07/22/2011 at 1:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love
Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 7:04am / Australia / Intimacy
by RobinBunny713 / 07/18/2011 at 11:23pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by it_IS_just_me / 07/17/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by McKenna / 07/16/2011 at 12:10am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…