Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

UnikornG33K

Offline (the 02/28/2015 at 8:44pm) | Search for a member

UnikornG33K

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 10376
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About UnikornG33K : Music, radio, concerts.

UnikornG33K's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of UnikornG33K's badges

UnikornG33K's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML

#16637364
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28137) - you deserved it (11682)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by cycler - United States

Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML

#16628583
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50196) - you deserved it (11587)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by gerligrl97 - United States

Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML

#16606089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26721) - you deserved it (3009)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:37am - intimacy - by dadisgoatboy - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

#16589535
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51373) - you deserved it (3652)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by stepsister - United States (Ohio)

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

#16575897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32951) - you deserved it (6879)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

#16551400
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35709) - you deserved it (7717)

On 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm - work - by Bee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that if your boss deletes you off Facebook, it's probably not a good sign. FML

#16541885
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29073) - you deserved it (3963)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:48am - work - by IloveMaroon5 - United States (Texas)

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

#16527718
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43419) - you deserved it (14498)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by Jake Whitte - United States (Indiana)

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51158) - you deserved it (5386)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44291) - you deserved it (3130)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

#16464729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14048) - you deserved it (32634)

On 06/02/2011 at 6:05am - misc - by ohcrap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML

#16464062
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29595) - you deserved it (3100)

On 06/02/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was stood up by a blind date. After calling and texting her about being a horrible person, she called me from the hospital. She was in a car accident. FML

#16439169
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12018) - you deserved it (56737)

On 05/31/2011 at 6:35pm - love - by bfall74 - Canada

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

#16381910
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17228) - you deserved it (41729)

On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38017) - you deserved it (5738)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: