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About UnicornsDoExist : MOVED TO ACCOUNT : iLaurie
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31873) - you deserved it (7736)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15416) - you deserved it (7766)
On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26825) - you deserved it (7414)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47758) - you deserved it (8177)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (9630)
On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10011) - you deserved it (22466)
On 11/27/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by Flaps - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (3205)
Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22243) - you deserved it (5729)
On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43366) - you deserved it (6089)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (15104) - you deserved it (26728)
On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51362) - you deserved it (4322)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12478) - you deserved it (26031)
On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40932) - you deserved it (2501)
On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (2276)
On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (7248)
On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States
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