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UnicornFarts

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UnicornFarts

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 March 1983 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1039
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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UnicornFarts's page activity

Visits<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:51am<b>Hunkapoo</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:21pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:33am<b>CelticKing</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:59am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 11:37pm<b>2potato4u</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 1:50am<b>rejlac</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 12:06pm<b>JOUSH94</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:14am<b>skittycat213</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 10:00pm<b>HeavenlyAura</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 5:51pm<b>jordyn20915</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 1:08am<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 12:59pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:35pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 4:31pm<b>bluucat</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:36pm<b>oh_marie_me</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:07pm<b>zoe_nicoleee</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:01pm

Fucked!<b>Hunkapoo</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 4:21am

UnicornFarts's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of UnicornFarts's badges

UnicornFarts's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43409) - you deserved it (4800)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32949) - you deserved it (4802)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (8568)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51426) - you deserved it (14655)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

#21299949
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38420) - you deserved it (4012)

On 11/16/2014 at 12:29am - kids - by wtfdad - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

#21294499
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33513) - you deserved it (4655)

On 11/08/2014 at 2:36am - love - by sickyandiknowit - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (8298)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47348) - you deserved it (4901)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55488) - you deserved it (7199)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

#21125451
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38643) - you deserved it (4851)

On 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Cat vs. Dog - United States (Wyoming)

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59382) - you deserved it (14864)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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