UnearthlyEnemy

Search for a member

UnearthlyEnemy

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20363
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

UnearthlyEnemy's page activity

Visits<b>marigavino</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 7:08pm<b>Derix</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:22pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 1:14pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 5:32pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:48pm<b>myoukei</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:34pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:45am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:13am<b>Xeebar</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:56am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:42pm<b>Elidorranos</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:29am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:06am<b>iBanana151</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Unkreative</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 2:46pm<b>RivalSeal</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 11:04am<b>bingo__O</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:20am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:09am<b>Fuzzbig</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:32pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:45pm

UnearthlyEnemy's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of UnearthlyEnemy's badges

UnearthlyEnemy's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been waiting for a call from a job I applied for. I soon got a text from my current boss, who doesn't know I'm job hunting, letting me know that the recruiter was trying to reach me. Turns out my number on my resumé was wrong. FML

by faulty number / 01/28/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

by shitty situation / 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

by forever1990 / 01/28/2013 at 6:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

by Creeped out / 01/28/2013 at 3:14am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

by yourmainman / 01/28/2013 at 12:03am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

by j_Lauren / 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm / United States / Holidays

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

by ihatemylife / 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

by shitday / 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML

by fucking teen cunts / 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

by dynah114 / 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids