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UnearthlyEnemy

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UnearthlyEnemy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11276
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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UnearthlyEnemy's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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UnearthlyEnemy's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16844) - you deserved it (2065)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19820) - you deserved it (5020)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

#563
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16413) - you deserved it (2025)

On 12/21/2008 at 7:14am - misc - by Phil - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

#542
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6519) - you deserved it (22002)

On 12/18/2008 at 3:30am - misc - by Wickls - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5835) - you deserved it (20273)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20948) - you deserved it (5610)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

#499
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13513) - you deserved it (8908)

On 12/12/2008 at 1:05am - misc - by Jumanji - Sent from mobile version

Today, and for the third time this week, my bank manager called me to tell me that my account is still overdrawn. He doesn't seem to understand that my wages always get paid at the end of the month. FML

#488
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15008) - you deserved it (3868)

On 12/10/2008 at 6:09am - money - by dmlk - Sent from mobile version

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

#487
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30010) - you deserved it (6378)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I crunched my pen and crushed my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

#479
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10878) - you deserved it (5131)

On 12/09/2008 at 8:50am - misc - by Heyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML

#426
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50191) - you deserved it (2960)

On 12/01/2008 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Maestro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

#417
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (1505)

On 11/29/2008 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Rosies - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 14-year-old little sister asked me how I felt when I had my first sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said "I thought it was nice". I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML

#353
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42762) - you deserved it (5157)

On 11/21/2008 at 2:23am - intimacy - by KoNi - Sent from mobile version

Today, on my first day at a new job, my boss asked how old I was. I replied, "Eighteen." She responded that she was my age thirty years ago, which makes her the same age as my mum. When I told her, she gave me a puzzled look, so I repeated myself. She was my age thirteen years ago, not thirty. FML

#245
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22105) - you deserved it (11862)

On 11/07/2008 at 10:33am - work - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML

#202
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51729) - you deserved it (7761)

On 11/03/2008 at 11:16pm - love - by clubber - Switzerland (Fribourg)



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