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UnearthlyEnemy's FML badges
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UnearthlyEnemy's favorite FMLs
Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML
by depraved / 01/08/2009 at 6:21am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by sampaloompy / 01/08/2009 at 3:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Sidney / 01/07/2009 at 3:17pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love
by wtf / 01/07/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML
by loser doctor / 01/02/2009 at 6:14am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Love
by Wickls / 12/18/2008 at 3:30am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: "At least someone is having fun!" It was my boss. FML
by james / 12/14/2008 at 8:14am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, and for the third time this week, my bank manager called me to tell me that my account is still overdrawn. He doesn't seem to understand that my wages always get paid at the end of the month. FML