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UnearthlyEnemy

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UnearthlyEnemy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11265
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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UnearthlyEnemy's last visitors

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UnearthlyEnemy's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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UnearthlyEnemy's favorite FMLs

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19512) - you deserved it (1702)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

#1529
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18083) - you deserved it (7143)

On 01/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by zuut - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

#1523
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12591) - you deserved it (2241)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by wasted_life - United States (Minnesota)

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

#1487
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9142) - you deserved it (34467)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by none - United States (New Jersey)

Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML

#1468
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7817) - you deserved it (31404)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:40pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found my car completely vandalized when I came home from work. A paper on the seat read "That's for what you did to Hannah you fuck". Hannah? FML

#1295
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (1410)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:32pm - love - by Camm. - United States (New York)

Today, I found my car completely vandalized when I came home from work. A paper on the seat read "That's for what you did to Hannah you fuck". Hannah? FML

#1295
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (1410)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:32pm - love - by Camm. - United States (New York)

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

#1230
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19482) - you deserved it (1086)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 5 year old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked "mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?". FML

#983
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22935) - you deserved it (2641)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:37am - kids - by Lax - Sent from mobile version

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17748) - you deserved it (3177)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I enjoy reading this site and other people's suffering just to feel better about my own life. FML

#818
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (6342)

On 01/08/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by sampaloompy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fell in love with a girl on the internet, she's great and funny. She says she's 16, but everyone keeps telling me she's only 11 and that I'm a pedophile. FML

#781
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6215) - you deserved it (31714)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by Sidney - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" um. what? FML

#779
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20528) - you deserved it (2781)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (6516)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the girl I was in love with has a new boyfriend. I blame myself because I believed her when she said she "wasn't ready" for a relationship. FML

#678
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14464) - you deserved it (2324)

On 01/02/2009 at 6:14am - love - by loser doctor - Philippines (Quezon City)



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