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UnearthlyEnemy

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UnearthlyEnemy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11261
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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UnearthlyEnemy's last visitors

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UnearthlyEnemy's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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UnearthlyEnemy's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (4889)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

#9520
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (55621)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

#8816
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45214) - you deserved it (16105)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by PlayTag (man) - United States (California)

Today, in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past my face and I kept trying to swat at it... only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away. I have no depth perception. FML

#7338
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11599) - you deserved it (13444)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:56am - animals - by Mith (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36522) - you deserved it (1758)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (1934)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (1934)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was tranny-night. FML

#5857
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6956) - you deserved it (34568)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm - money - by bluntedone (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37046) - you deserved it (322499)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

#5128
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22813) - you deserved it (3701)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8216) - you deserved it (49350)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

#4714
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21856) - you deserved it (2439)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm - misc - by why... - United States (Michigan)

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

#4489
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60242) - you deserved it (5124)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML

#4150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (1565)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by Larry - United States (California)



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