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UnearthlyEnemy's FML badges
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UnearthlyEnemy's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
by lifesucks / 02/24/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by shilpajayseanfan / 02/24/2009 at 8:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I was running by a school and saw that a deer had caught his antlers in the fence. I felt bad for it so I tried to help it free. Finally, he became unstuck. Then he rammed his antlers into my hip. Now I can't run in the marathon I have been training for a year to race in. FML
by stoopidRUnner / 02/23/2009 at 9:15pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, I celebrated my birthday with my friend who has the same birthday by going out to dinner with a bunch of our friends. The waiter brought out a cake for my friend but not for me. No one noticed my exclusion. I sang happy birthday on my birthday. FML
by jet8725 / 02/22/2009 at 11:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Reaper / 02/22/2009 at 5:01am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love
Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
by darn it. / 02/20/2009 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML
by muffinmen1022 / 02/20/2009 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Work
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
by Noname / 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by AppoKing / 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML
by not-so-young-shortie / 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
by notsohappy / 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by Sandra / 02/18/2009 at 9:15am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
by skeletor / 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML
by lene / 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by iamatthewroberts / 02/16/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…