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UnearthlyEnemy

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UnearthlyEnemy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12398
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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UnearthlyEnemy's page activity

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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UnearthlyEnemy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55329) - you deserved it (17700)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94615) - you deserved it (18555)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. he told me he wanted to do it doggie style. I said okay, and as soon as i bent over on the bed, looked at me and said "let's do this with the lights off". FML

#232006
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45508) - you deserved it (11679)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by fjafja - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

#225953
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19634) - you deserved it (60945)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)

Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML

#218280
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64392) - you deserved it (4460)

On 03/05/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by failout (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my quarterly review with my supervisor at the warehouse I work at. He told me I was doing great and we discussed my raise. After I left his office, his supervisor told me I was being fired for my attendance. The last time I missed work was to attend a funeral. Five months ago. FML

#215931
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54786) - you deserved it (1865)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:10am - work - by crub (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

#210718
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28224) - you deserved it (273990)

On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (231555) - you deserved it (30919)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

#203751
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36756) - you deserved it (82082)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57977) - you deserved it (10063)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

#183529
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53223) - you deserved it (6702)

On 03/02/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

#168595
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69843) - you deserved it (277231)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

#168595
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69843) - you deserved it (277231)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

#158702
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46896) - you deserved it (8371)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:30am - work - by eggs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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