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UnearthlyEnemy

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UnearthlyEnemy

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16707
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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UnearthlyEnemy's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:45am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:13am<b>Xeebar</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:56am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:42pm<b>Elidorranos</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:29am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:06am<b>iBanana151</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Unkreative</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 2:46pm<b>RivalSeal</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 11:04am<b>bingo__O</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:20am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:09am<b>Fuzzbig</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:32pm<b>datshistylizard1</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 11:53pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 2:03am<b>kamiixoxo</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:19pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 3:41am<b>jesse122333</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 11:03pm<b>JoshMcK</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 2:18am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:45pm

UnearthlyEnemy's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of UnearthlyEnemy's badges

UnearthlyEnemy's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said "me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML

#831466
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65792) - you deserved it (9357)

On 04/06/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by annonymous (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

#818828
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67540) - you deserved it (18507)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

#800907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84662) - you deserved it (3924)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:03pm - work - by Lifeguard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31125) - you deserved it (85263)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

#786946
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72539) - you deserved it (25828)

On 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I filled out a political survey for a psychology experiment. A really cute girl was doing it, too. We hit it off and flirted through the surveys, and I asked her out when it was done. Then I found out it was really an attraction experiment and she was in on it. She was acting. FML

#783275
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76037) - you deserved it (7248)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm - love - by Troy (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176069) - you deserved it (28386)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

#766931
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64856) - you deserved it (3023)

On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML

#764209
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14006) - you deserved it (131384)

On 04/02/2009 at 9:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

#754264
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56635) - you deserved it (10942)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by Nutless (man) - United States (New York)

Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

#745352
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54181) - you deserved it (69446)

On 04/01/2009 at 12:51pm - work - by tsardaukar (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the mall. We were looking at jewellery in Zales and she came across the engagement rings. She looks at one and says, "Are you kidding me? That ring is hideous and it's the most expensive one here! Who the fuck would buy that?" Well, that would be me. FML

#731686
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65175) - you deserved it (6133)

On 03/31/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by jkl54 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

#697390
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64362) - you deserved it (4040)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML

#695165
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58739) - you deserved it (3668)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:13am - work - by beat10 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, as I was doing the morning count for the registers, a lady walked by and saw me. She's got Alzheimer's, and thought I was robbing the guy I'd bought the store from, so she called the cops. I spent six hours in jail while they looked into it, and didn't even get an apology. FML

#674339
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69525) - you deserved it (2675)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by murphslaw (man) - United States (Ohio)



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